Many men struggle to understand women. They want to know what women want, think, and why they do what they do. What about you? You might have identified the ideal woman for you and gathered the courage to approach her, but what do you say to make her like you? It is not always easy, and that is why Matt Artisan, president, and CEO of The Attractive Man dating coach company has the answers.
Having coached men in the USA, Europe, Australia, China, Japan, Philippines, Mexico, Colombia, Qatar, India, Dubai, and 40 other countries in the span of 10 years, Matt Artisan has an expert understanding of women and the psychology behind their nature. Artisan has helped many men master deep inner confidence and approach women they never thought they could before going through his program. His expertise goes from novel dating techniques, day game mastery, to text game and inner confidence. He is the creator of The Attractive Man live boot camps and author of Turn Her On Through Text.
Here is how you get the girl of your dreams after approaching her.
Make Her Comfortable to Open Up
Asking intimate questions will get you closer to that girl, but only if she answers back. You have to make her feel comfortable enough to drop her mask. While asking deep questions, for example, “What is your passion in life?” ask them if it were the most typical thing in the world. Share an intimate story after she gives you her story first. In case she does not like the idea of answering the deep question, you can always go first to give an example, “Well like me, I love to travel because I enjoy exploring new things and it makes me feel alive. What about you?” This shows her that it’s normal to open up.
Alternate Depth and Humor
While bonding and sharing deep things about yourself, avoid going deep and staying there for too long. If you do so, the conversation will feel suffocating or invasive making the conversation too serious and grave. To prevent that, alternate depth and humor. Share your deep stuff while at the same time not getting too serious. Make a joke here and there to make the situation light and fun.
Do Not Be Judgemental
No good connection is possible if you get judgemental at any point in your conversation. When she tries to open up, listen, and show empathy. Make her feel accepted and free of judgment. That will establish trust, thus creating a strong bond, and you stand a better chance with her.
Let the Connection Develop Naturally
Trying to force a bond will always fail. You might think that agreeing with everything your partner says will bring you both closer, but it will only hurt your efforts. Maintain your swagger and just let the connection happen. Avoid using phrases like, “me too,” especially if it’s not true. Be honest and don’t try to show you have a lot of similarities unless it’s true. Instead, find out how she feels about her passions, hobbies, and interests and use phrases like, “I know how you feel.” This shows empathy and will make her feel like you really get her, which creates a deeper connection.
Label the Connection
Most people, while creating deep connections, are afraid to point it out. When you label the emotion, you further cement the bond. After you have talked for a while, tell her that you feel the special connection between you two. You have nothing to lose by doing so. If she confirms, you have done it. It’s an excellent way to show that you also feel and understand emotions.
Establishing strong bonds is not entirely about sharing deep stuff about your lives. Sharing jokes and laughing together is another sure way to connect. Studies show that laughing triggers the release of the “feel-good hormones,” endorphins, in the brain, causing arousal and emotional awareness. That means when you laugh together, it creates social bonding. Make her laugh by playfully teasing her, poking fun at yourself, cracking a joke, roleplaying or playing games.
It’s not always about what you say. Listening is the currency of rapport, the window to trust. You have to be completely present to what your partner is saying, without distraction, to understand her. Listen to her on an emotional level rather than the logical level. Think about the feeling behind what she says. That way, you will show empathy.
Another way to do it is active listening. Active listening will show your partner that you are present and following. It involves more than just listening. Ask an open-ended question and a followup statement. For example, “I know you feel. It was the same for me when I… Did you feel that way too?”
After doing everything right, the situation might not go your way. Never take it personally, especially if you get rejected. It’s life, move on, and live to find the perfect match for you another day.
Check out The Attractive Man to review their programs yourself.